Children

David Himes

Introduction:

It is hard sometimes to believe that we were once children. I can remember that I thought I would be a better parent than my parents were. I thought I would spend more time with my family. I thought my children would rather be with me than anyone else. What happened?

Raising children is hard!

I now understand why my parents retired early and moved away. They were ready to live, not that raising me was such a chore. (The rest of the family was the real problem.)

I see why God intended that there be two parents. My wife is fantastic. She has the patience of Job. She listens, she encourages, and she takes a lot more anguish than I can. I get so frustrated and it is so easy to do. But there are limits; there are times when Gail sometimes can’t take it any more. Then it is my turn to step in. No matter what mood I’m in, or how tired I am, I realize that the situation is critical.

I am not saying I have bad children. We love them dearly. It is just different than what I expected. They are good children; have their own way of doing things. They think differently than I do. They dress differently than I do. They eat differently than I do. They speak differently than I do. I forget that that they are different than me. They are individuals.

Who am I to tell my children how to dress? Is it really necessary that the clothes go in the dirty clothesbasket and not on the floor; for that matter should clean clothes really belong in the closet? Should I spend my time teaching them about good eating habits? Do they need to know to cut their food and not pick it up with their fingers? How about brushing their teeth, is that important? Maybe I shouldn’t tell them what I think of their music. Maybe blue hair is ok. Maybe they are exercising their vocal cords now to prepare for the time we are older and hard of hearing. Maybe fighting with brother or sister is good exercise.

When do we correct them and when do we let them go? Now days, it seems that if the kids are not on drugs or pregnant, that we must be doing a great job. What is a parent to do?

Who has the answer? Where can I find an expert in raising children? What is the right thing to do? What should I expect from my children? Am I expecting too much? Am I too strict? Was Dr. Spock right or wrong? Who has the answers?

I got an idea. Let's see what the God has to say. He is usually right! The Bible has this to say...

To the parents:

Q. What is the value of early attention to child training?

A. Proverbs 22:6 "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

Q. What does God expect from parents as they raise children?

A. Parents must be godly examples in words and actions.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 "These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

Q. God expects parents to be patient.

A. Colossians 3:21 "Fathers, don't scold your children so much that they become discouraged and quit trying."

Q. What does God expect of a mother?

A. Proverbs 31:26 "When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule for everything she says."

Q. Should I discipline my child?

A. Proverbs 13:24 "If you refuse to discipline your son, it proves you don't love him; for if you love him, you will be prompt to punish him."

Q. How do I help my children to learn some things are wrong to do?

A. Proverbs 29:15 "Scolding and spanking a child helps him to learn. Left to himself, he brings shame to his mother."

Q. How do I discipline my children?

A. Ephesians 6:4 "And now a word to you parents. Don't keep on scolding and nagging your children, making them angry and resentful. Rather, bring them up with the loving discipline the Lord himself approves, with suggestions and godly advice."

Q. What if I refuse to discipline the child.

A. Proverbs 13:24 "If you refuse to discipline your son, it proves you don't love him; for if you love him, you will be prompt to punish him."

Q. Should the parents have to give, and give, and give?

A. 2 Cor 12:14-15 Children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children. So I will very gladly spend for you everything I have and expend myself as well. If I love you more, will you love me less?

As a parent, can you do all this? Is it worth the effort? Have you even tried?

What does the Bible say...

To the Youth :

Q. What does God expect of children?

A. Colossians 3:20 "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."

This is so important it is state twice.

Ephesians 6:1 "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."

Q. Why do I have to develop a relationship with God now?

A. Ecclesiastes 12:1 "Don't let the excitement of being young cause you to forget about your Creator: Honor him in your youth before the evil years come--when you'll no longer enjoy living."

Q. What can I do at my age?

A. I Samuel 2:18 "Samuel, though only a child, was the Lord's helper."

Q. Must children show honor and respect toward their parents?

A. Exodus 20:12 "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you."

Q. How long are children to respect their parents?

A. Proverbs 23:22 "Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old."

Q. Why should children listen to their parents?

A. Proverbs 1:8 "Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching."

Q. Why should my parents care how I live?

A. Proverbs 28:24 "Young men who are wise obey the law; a son who is a member of a lawless gang is a shame to his father."

Q. It is wrong to take unfair advantage of parents?

A. Proverbs 28:24 "A man who robs his parents and says, What's wrong with that?' is no better than a murderer."

Q. Can children be Christ-like examples?

A. I Timothy 4:12 "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."

Q. Why do parents want to choose their friends?

A. II Timothy 2:22 "Run from anything that gives you the evil thoughts that young men often have, but stay close to anything that makes you want to do right. Have faith and love, and enjoy the companionship of those who love the Lord and have pure hearts."

There comes a time when the child grows up. (They do really, or so I’m told.) That time when the child says goodbye and looks toward a life of his/her own. God helps us here.

The Bible says....

To those Contemplating Marriage:

Q. What does the Bible teach about marriage?

A. Marriage is a permanent, committed partnership between a man and a woman.

Matthew 19:5-6 "And that a man should leave his father and mother, and be forever united to his wife. The two shall become one--no longer two, but one! And no man may separate what God has joined together.

Q How should husbands relate to their wives?

A. Ephesians 5:25-28 "And you husbands, show the same kind of love to your wives as Christ showed to the church when he died for her. . .That is how husbands should treat their wives, loving them as parts of themselves. For since a man and his wife are now one, a man is really doing himself a favor and loving himself when he loves his wife!

Q. Should husbands have to honor their wives?

A. I Peter 3:7 "You husbands must be careful of your wives, being thoughtful of their needs and honoring them as the weaker sex. Remember that you and your wife are partners in receiving God's blessings, and if you don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not get ready answers."

Q. How should the wife relate to her husband?

A. Ephesians 5:22-24 "You wives must submit to your husbands' leadership in the same way you submit to the Lord. For a husband is in charge of his wife in the same way Christ is in charge of his body the church. (He gave his very life to take care of it and be its Savior!) So you wives must willingly obey your husbands in everything, just as the church obeys Christ."

Q. Does that mean the wife must do all the "give and take"?

A. No! Marriage requires submission by both partners.

Ephesians 5:21 "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

Q. What counsel forbids physical or verbal spouse abuse?

A. Colossians 3:19 "Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them."

Q. What makes for a successful marriage?

A.  Ephesians 4:26 "If you are angry, don't sin by nursing your grudge. Don't let the sun go down with you still angry--get over it quickly."

Q. Keep the relationship growing in unity and understanding.

A. Ephesians 4:2-3 "Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love. Try always to be led along together by the Holy Spirit, and so be at peace with one another."

Q. How should society view marriage?

A. Hebrews 13:4 "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."

Q. By what commandments has God guarded marriage?

A. The seventh and the tenth.

Exodus 20:14, 17 "You shall not commit adultery." and "You shall not covet your neighbor's wife."

Q. For how long is marriage intended to last?

A. Romans 7:2 "By law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage."

Q. What instruction is given about whom to marry?

A. II Corinthians 6:14 RSV. "Do not be mismated with unbelievers. For what partnership have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"

Q. What about romance and sexuality in the marriage?

A. Proverbs 5:18-19 "Let your manhood be a blessing; rejoice in the wife of your youth. Let her charms and tender embrace satisfy you. Let her love alone fill you with delight."

This lesson has been developed for the purpose of helping you think about raising children. No one said it would be easy. Maybe you thought so as I did. But it can be rewarding. You are not alone. The problems you have are the same as I have. They are the same as Adam and Eve had, Abraham had his problems too. And would be wrong is supposing that Mary the mother of Jesus had problems too? Can you imagine raising the Son of God into adulthood?

Maybe you have no children of your own. Read Gal. 4:27. You have the children of the world.

There is a second message in this lesson, and that is, when you don’t know what to do, you can find the best answers in the Bible. Whether you are a child, a parent, a widow, or a grandparent, the Bible can help us learn how to live in this world better.

If you are having problems in your life, maybe you need to develop a better relationship with God. God will help you, He has promised, but you must make the first step. Make the decision to correct those things in your life that prevents you from being a child of God.

If you need help, we would like to help you. If you need someone to help you find the answers in the Bible, we have people here that will help you find them. If you need our prayers, we are ready. Are you?

Please come if you are ready to make that first step.